Who said "What is good for the goose is good for the gander"? And, what does it really mean? Dear readers, I have been pondering these questions, and much, much more. (You should know how dangerous that can be.)

It appears that this goosey phrase espousing gender equality was an English proverb popular in the late 1600's. As such, it was an expression that was way ahead of its time. The author of the 1670 book "A Collection of English Proverbs" adds that this was "a woman's proverb." Well, duh.

In case you haven't thought about such complex issues lately, a "goose" is, strictly speaking, a female goose. So, when we say "goose" we aren't just referring to a female, we are referring to the entire goose species. This is one of those rare instances where the name for a species (goose) is also the name for the female member (goose) of that species. It is kind of like how it is with the word "man."

When we say "man" we aren't just referring to the male member of the human species, we are referring to the entire species -- you know, "mankind." I guess geese were put on planet earth to even the score -- a species whose female designation stands for the entire population. Females rule in goosedom and, maybe, of late, in mandom, also.

Can you believe this? Men have been objecting to what they feel has been some undeserved "male-bashing." Well, not just men. Even some women have been grumbling. Here's a short list of published complaints: John Leo, May 1998 -- "Male-bashing gets offensive"; Wendy McElroy, May 2003 -- "Cut men: do they not bleed?"; and, most recently, Glenn Sacks, February 2004 -- "Why I launched the campaign against 'boys are stupid' products." Among other things, these writers are all complaining about insulting jokes being made about "male stupidity."

Hmmmm.... I think it is about time women caught up with us guys in the "Telling-Offensive-Jokes Department." I call this "goosing the gander." It is more in the tradition of beneficial sparring than serious bashing. To all the writers who are characterizing this as "male-bashing," I have this advice: "It's not a war; it's a transition." Male-taunting or, the reverse, female-taunting has always been borderline bad manners. What's new is that women have finally learned how to do it as well as men have been doing it for years. It may be that the laws of physics also rule in the psychological world -- "Every action brings about an opposite and equal reaction."

History has taught us that quite often formerly oppressed people need to psychologically de-throne the oppressor to move towards a position with more real power. This likely means that we, as men, will be required to go through a phase of dealing with what appears to be a double-standard -- we can't tell offensive jokes but they can. We had many years of carte blanche about such joke telling, so now it is someone else's turn. Geez, we have such a hard time sharing.

In my opinion, if you don't like demeaning depictions of men and women, the best way to help is to work on fixing your gender's contribution to the problem. For men, this would mean establishing organizations to support women in their efforts to receive equal pay for equal work and to stop attempts to exploit anti-female sentiments for commercial gain. It might mean boycotting Hooters and stripper bars and many television shows. It might mean joining Now.org. For women, this might mean campaigning for equal paternity leaves and equal parental rights for fathers. It might mean girlcotting corporations and television shows that demean men. It might mean joining MensActivism.org.

This may be the true 21st Century meaning for "what is good for the goose is good for the gander" -- standing up for the opposite gender's rights and respect.

-- Be kind and prosper, Dr. Sterling

      Comments? Questions? Need Help?

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